Week 39: The Truth Comes Out

Baby is slowing down in the growth department. He/she should be right around 7lbs.~ FINALLY about the same as a watermelon- the watermelon that it has looked like for weeks!

This picture makes me want more watermelon. Maybe I can get just one more this season??? I just can't get enough fruit. Matt and I have been binging on frozen grapes the last few weeks~ we bought 6 bunches Friday (they were $0.99/lb!) and may need to reload before those go out of season too. If you have never frozen grapes, stick some in the freezer and thank me later.

As of my last doctor's appointment (5 days ago) I was 3 cm dilated and 75% effaced. According to the doctor and my readings, that means absolutely nothing in terms of predicting D-Day. Some people can be hours later, some people can be weeks. I was just amazed that a couple fingers can differentiate between centimeters. I guess that is the doctor's job but still, its pretty impressive.

Matt and I are both hoping to make it to at least October (which I think is pretty likely considering its the 28th). Matt said "Core's are born in October" (he and both of his parents have October birthdays) but the real reason is because insurance deductible new year is 10/1. Ha! My prediction, as of the doctor's appointment last week, was Monday, Oct. 3 and his was Friday, Oct. 7. Winner gets.... something good. No diaper duty for a few days?

These past few weeks of pregnancy, I feel like I'm stumbling upon things that no one tells you about being pregnant. If you are awkward or uncomfortable with 'girl stuff' or too much information, stop reading now. Pregnancy has led me to be WAY less self-conscious about my body~ heck, there are way nastier people than me that get fat and pregnant. Plus, this is my blog. If you don't like the content, go google something. Like I said, Stop reading now if you don't want to know the truth about pregnancy and its effects on a body.

So, my pregnancy revelations (you're welcome pregnant friends~ this is the stuff the books don't say)...

*Last week the baby was the length of a leek. It was also the week (or month) of the leak. I won't go into vivid details, but I'm not talking about bladder control here. Just take my word, things happen. It's gross, its uncomfortable, and it can be handled with the purchase of feminine products (not tampons, as Matt so unhelpfully suggested). I think this is the first pantyliner purchase I have made since like 7th grade.

I warned you of the TMI.

*I thought I was blessed having escaped stretch marks until my lower belly poked out from under a shirt that wasn't long enough (by the way, most shirts aren't long enough) and Matt so lovingly pointed out that I had stretch marks. No, it's just that dark line he's seeing (yes, you get a weird dark line) but he was insistent, they were stretch marks. An awkward examination trying to bend with a mirror, crushing my lungs and ribs revealed the truth. I got stretch marks. Dammit.

This is a picture of whats going on in my 39th week and the entire surface area from below my belly button to about the top of my thigh (approximately the area where daisy dukes would hit) has been invisible to me for months. This arrow points to the stretch zone. Dammit. I hate the smell of cocoa butter, Dammit!

You had your chance to leave.

*The invisible area I just pointed out also makes personal grooming nearly impossible. Don't bother looking at what you're doing, you will have to bank on other senses. I get paranoid at what doctors and nurses think about different grooming varieties they encounter and their opinion of the personalities that groom particular ways but Matt has again assured me, think of all the nasty patients they have had to see. I am way less gross than the people I've observed in the waiting room, that's for sure. So if there are some missed spots, or some forgotten strays or some wild ones.... it could be worse. I could be a patient that requires the extra-wide, armless chairs in the waiting room.

My blog, my content.

*It is hard to wipe your butt. Maybe its just me and I have T-Rex arms, but seriously, I can't figure out the right angle to the back.

Not only is pooping itself hard (constipation is a normal symptom - so are hemorrhoids which thank god, I have not had), now wiping is too. UUGGHHH. At least fiber hasn't been a craving of mine.

Girls poop.

All of this nonsense contributes to me being over this. I admit, pregnancy hasn't been that bad and I have been pretty good at NOT complaining (Matt knows this is true -  he also thinks its because I want a small army and I know that being nice will be more likely to result in additional pregnancies than being whiny and difficult) but really, 39 weeks is sufficient. I am done being pregnant but I am anxious about coming out on the other side. We are as ready as we can be (Matt is installing car seat tonight, cute) but I don't think you can touch the surface of knowing what you're really in for. "Get Sleep" everyone advises. Yea, that stopped months ago. You get sleep with a watermelon strapped to your belly, pushing on your bladder and stretching your skin until it looks translucent.

For all of this, I deserve a reward.

Yea, I did it. I parked there. 39 weeks, running a quick errand, belly is quite obvious now so hopefully judgmental stares were minimal, and I got rock-star parking. Considering I only have days, or even hours left to utilize those spaces, ONE time is definitely deserved.

Also deserved is a Taco Bell Limeade Sparkler. Stumbled upon those this week... Delish

Most deserved is a baby. I get to hold him/her whenever I want so just a head's up, even if you're a visiting guest, I get first dibs :)