Week 26: Pickles

The baby is pushing 1 2/3 lbs these days and is about 14 inches long. That is the length of an English hothouse cucumber (which apparently is not just any old cucumber).

English hothouse...

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Plain old American...

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Obviously its all in the girth. Just so you all know, I prefer my cucumbers pickled. Sweet, Dill, Spicy, Garlic~ I don't discriminate. I have gone through the Jimmy John's drive-through and ordered 1 pickle before. The total comes to $1.00 - and I had to charge it.

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Haha! This picture makes me think of Grease 2 when they sing "Reproduction" and the lyrics say 'I got your pistol right here, baby.' Oh yea, BABY... the nerves in the baby's ears are developing more and more so conversation can be picked up by the baby now. I have to admit, I haven't been a big baby talker but maybe I should start. Matt and I talk about Pickles like he/she is not there but maybe we should start directing the conversation to instead of about.

If Pickles is a boy, his testicles are beginning to descend into his scrotum, which will take 2 or 3 days. Just thought some of you may like to know that information (Patrick). Someone at work today told me based on the way I'm carrying, she thinks its a boy (the first of many of those predictions, I'm sure) so I guess my Pickles vibe will be more boyish than girl~ considering the cucumbers. Tommy & Dill Pickles are both boys too.

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I had a weird dream the other night and I mean WEIRD. Matt and I decided we wanted to look at the baby so I did a little pushing and Matt pulled the baby out. It was a normal baby with an umbilical cord hanging off, just a miniature version, and we looked at it, passed it back and forth and decided we were done. I told Matt to put it back inside me (TWSS) and some bystander warned me it was going to hurt. Matt was about to start shoving when we were informed that we could NOT put it back. We had to keep the baby out and then I felt sad because we made the baby premature because we wanted to look at it. Then I woke up. Weird. I don't recall what "parts" the baby had in my dream but it was wearing a little blue beanie (Matt pulled it out with a little hat on - magical). Just 1 more reason to make the Pickles week about boys.

Since Uncle Patrick has been calling the baby "Rod" since the beginning and is convinced its a 'he', and since Uncle Patrick is so starved for attention, I figured this would be an appropriate time to give him some acknowledgment. Happy 1/2 Birthday (yesterday) Pat!

My Mom was obviously disappointed being unable to bake rutabagas last week, so she decided to hook a brother up - halfway.

Last week, Pat and my Mom wanted to try to feel "Rod" kick. The plan was to pretend Patrick felt a big one to make my Mom jealous but he actually did get a little kick. He thought it was indigestion but it was Pickles. Here is the awkward and hideous documentation.

This poor baby. One last Uncle Patrick bit of acknowledgment comes in the form of Pat's brother from another mother. My mom sponsors a little Indian kid through church and gets letters and pictures from him updating her on his life. Srikanth Umanibonya (give or take a few letters - pronounced Ahm-na-bone-yah by P) has been Pat's adopted brother in his head for a few years now. He even dressed up like Sri for a brotherly photo op.

Father's Day, Mother's Day, Christmas and Birthdays have all been opportunities to receive gifts from "P & Sri." Poor little unsuspecting Srikanth is over in India filling in form letters and putting the stickers my Mom sent him all over the pictures he's drawn her while his long lost 'brother' Patrick is gifting in his honor. Pickles (Rod) is going to be soooo confused as to who Uncle Sri is. I think Pat got this twisted view of brotherhood years ago when my parents Godchild, Jeffrey, prayed for his "God Brother Pat" in his 1st grade petitions at school. We all laughed that a) we never knew you could have God Siblings along with your Godparents b) its funny that a 1st grader made that association and c) what about God Sister Katy and God Brother Charlie? Remember when I said Patrick was starved for attention?

Anyway~ enough about Patrick. Last week was a tribute to Matt & Wes, this week, Patrick... I better quit before I get a waiting list of people who want some love.

Go eat some pickles and have a nice day.