Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Moving Right Along

I haven't had a break from posting this long since I gave birth. I'm sorry to let you all down, but I have not given birth again. I just suck.

Moving right along... 1 month in people time is like a lifetime for a a Banjo. In just a month, I got a whole new baby... one that eats more, laughs, bites, doesn't shut up, and best (worst) of all, is mobile!

Hooray! My baby hit a milestone! He can crawl!
F*%&! My baby is monster! I can't just lay him down and run to pee!

All of you moms out there thinking, "Wah! My baby isn't crawling yet!", "What's wrong with my kid? He's older than benji and he doesn't crawl?", "When will MY kid do that?".... go knock on some wood fast. Praise be the babies who skip the crawling and just walk (I'm going to go ahead and assume that spares you at least a month or 2 of prevented mobility).

Don't get me wrong, yay for Banjo~ I do love watching him scoot around but my already reduced shower regime has not appreciated the development and my 'privacy' has been eliminated. I used to lay the kid down surrounded in noise makers so I could pee alone and would be alerted if there was any movement outside of Benji's circle of trust. Now, he gets plopped down in the doorway and stares at me while I go about my business. For now, the 'newness' of the scenery keeps him in place on his bum but I'm sure a face-plant to the bathroom floor and a beeline to the chemicals under the sink is inevitable. As for showers, the best solution at this point is hauling his heavy high chair up the world's longest, steepest staircase so I can strap him in place while I use up all of the hot water. Although this works, I think I've dented the drywall in a spot (or three). Oops.

Back to Benji, the crawling started quite amusingly with barrel rolls across the room in an attempt to get where he wanted to go. The rolls melded into a sort of army crawl drag (which really got the biceps jacked) and eventually he figured out his thunder thighs were much more efficient being used as an asset rather than dead weight.


 Here is a little diddy of Benji's scoot/role/drag combo (note the celebratory clappy feet).


Poor Wigs doesn't know what to think of the big (1/4 his size), scary (harmless), monster baby (that he could eat in 1 gulp). What a chicken.

Aside from having to actually supervise my kid, the next crappiest part of Benji crawling is his magnetism to naughty things. He's had this 6th sense since he started putting everything in his mouth. 'Here are 47 BPA free brightly colored, noise making, shiny, lighting up things for you! Oh what? you spot the cell phone that's inside of my purse across the room under the table? Oh the remote that the couch cushion swallowed yesterday causing me to watch Pardon the Interruption? The keys that are in the ignition, making this car move while you freak out? The hand sanitizer you threw on the floor behind the couch 3 days ago? Perfect. I'll get right on that.' Benji's favorite consumables in no particular order are.... TV remote (hit AUX as to not get your Bravo! program interrupted with a channel change), Playstation remote (which I secretly hope the drool destroys so 'sticks' can't ruin my day anymore), hand sanitizer bottle (1 particular one, which hopefully isn't a sign of a taste for alcohol), car key (which I always forget and hold in the same hand as the car-seat, which than dangles in his face and baits him. FML), iphone (matt's $1,000,000 case that can go diving with him is actually useful! Benji can suck and chuck it all day and its indestructible), and computer charger (of course, the little white part that the power comes out of and into the computer). BPA-full I'm sure.

Scoots McGee can now add more naughty's to his list. Outlets, cords, the weird kitty door that came with the house (thank god his head is huge, otherwise he might fit through the thing), the moldy piece of tile in the corner of the shower, the wine rack, bottoms of shoes, and door stoppers are on his radar and even though the kid can't even talk, he remembers exactly where all of these items are located.



All of the mobility had really paid off for him though. Ladies, control yourselves, Benji has a 'Situation'...


Check out those muscles. He can surf too.

Which leads to my next 'milestone' (issue), pulling up. This kid has noodle legs but thinks he can stand up. All of the time. On anything. The thunder is getting a little more trim and he is gaining strength but seriously, you cannot climb on top of my shoulder and stand on it, while I am standing up holding you. You cannot stand on the footrest of the stroller that is a 6 inch surface area. You cannot stand on flat ground for goodness sake with those noodle legs! Leave it to Banjo to try though. Did I mention he has ZERO concept of falling? Oh, the edge of the bed? I got that (FUNCLE). Oh over the side of my crib? Ain't no thang (Thankfully this hasn't happened... yet). We attempted Take 4 of the 'cry it out' sleep thing but now, mix in a pissed off Banjo, standing in the crib, leaning as far as he can to get out and once again, mommy loses (yep, we're still sleeping like a baby... a newborn baby that cries every 2 hours).

The only advantage to mobility is.... I'm thinking... we're 17.25 years closer to having our freedom back? haha just kidding! I'm not wishing this time away for anything. I love my little mover and shaker more today than yesterday and I already get emotional seeing him as a bigger baby each day. You can imagine the emotions when I woke up to this one morning...


Benji has facial hair! Okay, Okay it's fake~ the mustache isn't real! But he did have an armpit hair for a couple of months... one long dark strand that was really weird and really amusing at the same time. The pain in the butt milestones also come with other milestones that are the best ever, like this sound...


That little mouth has also cranked out a tooth! Benji fails to recognize it's abilities and still tries to chew on fingers but it is one cute little snaggle. It gets bigger everyday and is becoming more and more visible when he smiles. Matt and I have already noted its angle... which is of course, a little skewed so we're going to need to start putting away for orthodontics. Happy Birthday Benji! You have no idea whats going on, so you get money in the braces fund! Ha yea right. Like I could resist buying presents for my little banjito. Just last night I bought him some new PJ's. Matt told me I needed to "ease up on buying him clothes" but check out the state of his current jammers...


Crotch is open, feet are pulling, sleeves are at elbows... really comfy.

Anywho. in my month-long unintentional hiatus, Benji grew. Benji moved. Benji ate. Benji stood. Benji toothed (not teethed, there's just 1). Benji watched me pee. Benji ate BPA. Benji grew a mustache.

So there you go.

No comments:

Post a Comment