Closing Time

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

The end of the pregnancy, the end of things being about me, the end of sleeping in, the end of drinking whenever I feel like it, the end of 'going out' on weekends, the end of impulse trips to walmart at 2am, the end of pretty much anything impulsive thanks to the new checklist of gear/supplies/humans required to leave the house, the end of 30 minute showers, the end of having any sort of spare money.... I could go on and on but lets let the new beginnings roll. This is what we've all been waiting for, right?!?

October 7^th started as a typical Friday. I was sick and tired of being at work, anxious to get this baby show on the road and BORED at the office. Time crawls by when you are bored at work but finally, the day ended (lets get serious, I skipped out about 45 minutes early). Matt had gone golfing so I decided it’d be a good time to wrap his Birthday presents for the big 2-6 he was turning the next day. In his card I wrote something to the effect of, “enjoy your last birthday as a childless guy OR you’re welcome for the greatest birthday present I can ever give you!” (I had to cover all my bases). Then I ran to Walgreens for some candy for myself and a Birthday card for my Dad since it was his Bday that day. His card also read, “enjoy your youth, soon you’ll be a grandpa!” (that card almost didn’t apply, but my water wont break for 45 more minutes, keep reading).

I peed 9 times, ate my treats, and waited for Matt to get home and FINALLY he came through the door. He plopped down on the couch and we started to discuss dinner options (to the roar of my stomach) when all of the sudden I felt a weird pop and warmth. Consider me, Miles Davis. Matt had literally been home for no more than 5 minutes and I think my water broke. I went to the bathroom, unsure of what I was really looking for and we called the hospital. I didn’t think I had peed, but it wasn’t the amount I expected for your water breaking~ not the gush I had envisioned in my nightmares~ so I didn’t know if I was just crazy. In the midst of the nurse telling me to change my clothes and wait to see if I soaked through them (gross), I started bawling. Matt took the phone (I think he and the nurse were a little panicked) and I sat on the toilet crying for no real reason… this was it. I was going to have a baby, and I was scared, nervous, anxious, excited, traumatized, worried, elated.... all rolled into one hormonal mess, literally (my water just broke) and figuratively.

After regaining my composure, we decided to just go to the hospital to get checked out. I got my bag together (my lovely, Vera Bradley duffle bag that I bought as a present to myself for having a baby), and we hit the road.

Oh, hello cute bag.

I meant to take one last picture preggo but that was obviously not at the front of my mind. Once we were in the car, I remembered I was starving since it was now like 7:45. We went through the BK drive through and thank god we did because the first thing I heard at the hospital was that I couldn’t eat anything else (Matt and I both know what happens when Katy gets hungry, and it is not someone you want to be around). We had said that we would stop and buy some scratchies on the way to the baby being born (we have a mild obsession with scratch tickets) but even though BK was an acceptable stop, we decided the gas station and our lotto winnings would have to wait. I wonder if anyone has ever won the lotto on the day they became a parent?

I am babbling….

Get to the hospital

Same pants since I had changed from the initial ‘incident’ still perfectly dry

Paperwork

Concerned this is a false alarm because of dry pants

Rooms are full

Still hungry and wishing I had ordered some extra chicken fries

Get put in junky little room and wait to get checked out to see if the water has really broken

Lady heard screaming in agony from the delivery room

Tick Tock. Tick Tock.

Finally, the door starts to open and wooosh. The floodgates open as the door is swinging open, I panic and attempt (in a hospital gown with an open back) to run to the bathroom. My ‘water’ follows me, leaving a puddley path. Awkward. At least I wasn’t a crazy peed pants person. This water was legit.

At this point, it was about 8:30 Friday night. After checking me out, and getting me admitted, I began having my first contractions. Since I hadn’t had any until that point, my pain plan was to wait and see how it went. Matt kept saying my pain tolerance was minimal and to rally the anesthesia troops but I was convinced I could wait and potentially tough it out. By 9:30, contractions were pretty consistent every 5 minutes (isn’t that supposed to be the warning sign BEFORE the water?). I was 4 cm dilated, which I had been since Monday, and the nurses said to expect about 1 cm every 1-2 hrs (for those of you who don’t know, 10cm is where we’re heading). ETA was 6am. At that point, Matt made the phone calls to the families with the update.

Things moving slow

Probably a baby in the a.m.

We’d call later - no need to rush there now

Promoted to birthing room

Rocky to the hospital anyways (shocking, I know)

FF to 11:30. I was having contractions every 60 seconds and had dilated to 7cm which was way faster than expected. The nurses thought the baby could potentially come before midnight and I was MISERABLE. Contractions are indescribable. Matt said I’d reach for his hand but if/when he’d take it I’d say, “Don’t F*$%ing touch me!” In one of the 25 seconds of relief between these torturous occurrences, I did apologize to the room for being bipolar. In the heat of a contraction, words fly, including, “Get me the F*&%ing epidural.” Matt was right. There, I said it. The drugs went in and the progression slowed down. Baby on 10/7? False alarm. Baby was coming 10/8 (Matt’s Bday!). Around 3am, I was between 8-9cm. Tick Tock. Tick Tock.

Sidenotes:

*Charlie, Emily and Patrick came to the hospital just before midnight. Patrick was tipsy I’m pretty sure, and they were all sooooo excited for baby. Charlie abandoned ship around 2 or 3 so he could get some sleep before being at his Husker tailgate at 7:30am (priorities for the big Ohio State game) but Pat and Emily stuck out the night.

*Baby was coming on Matt’s Birthday and our night nurse had had a baby on her own birthday… isn’t that kind of ironic?!?

*Some nurses kept saying ‘he’ and some kept saying ‘she’ so I asked if my file like had the gender screaming out on the front page. They all denied knowing but I think they knew and switched it up if they slipped to confuse us. Looking back, our favorite nurse Yolanda was saying “he.” Oops.

Back to the story~ (I’m just trying to give you the sense of waiting like we had)

Time goes by… so slowly (please sing that to yourself)

I peed buckets (or bags - catheter)

Jealous of Matt & Emily’s late night TB run

Sun came up

Patrick wimped out and left for the tailgate

The baby was turned in a funny position face up and they wanted him face down so they had me twisting around to try to shift it. At 8:45 they decided to have me start pushing in hopes that the baby would get situated. Pushing was a weird sensation. Due to the drugs, I didn’t really know if I was pushing the right stuff. In some weird way, I enjoyed this part- probably because there was no head squeezing down the canal. After an hour of baby not rotating or coming out, the doctor determined the head was stuck on my pelvis. I was complimented on my push skills and told, had it not been for the hang-up, I would have had a baby in the first 20 minutes. Great! Minus the part that my excellent pushes were just ramming my baby’s head into the equivalent of a brick wall!

You may wonder why I am sharing this awful picture with the universe but the face takes me back to that day and since it seems like a lifetime ago, I like being reminded of every little detail (good thing we have about 60 minutes of video of the 'details' - none of which are the birth itself, but rather comments about double chins, bats in the cave, shaving, cotton mouth... conversation was interesting in the 12 hours leading up to the pushes. Between Matt and tipsy Patrick, no subject was off limits) Let the image serve as birth control to those of you needing that sort of thing.

Back to the action~ We were told we could keep trying to push but the doctor feared that if the head got straightened out, then the shoulder may get caught up. That meant forceps, a vacuum or an emergency C-section. No, no and no. We went with the other option, a C-section, rather than more pushing. (BTW- there was an article in the paper about a similar situation that pushed. Stuck shoulder, tug on baby, permanent paralysis and nerve damage in parts of arm. Thank God we went for the knife.) We figured we would rather get the baby out without causing any more distress and before it turned into an emergency situation.

I cried

I hadn’t envisioned it this way

Matt put on a hazmat suit

Within what seemed like 5 minutes, I was being prepped in the OR

I was laying there, and finally Matt got to come in and the C-section began. I hate to say it and I hated it in the moment, but it was soooo hard to stay awake. I kept thinking to myself, ‘You are about to have a baby! Why can’t you keep your eyes open?!’ Well, possibly the fact that I have now been awake for close to 30 hours, I’ve been in labor for 14 hours, I am numbed from the chest down and my guts are on the table. It seemed like forever yet instant, all at the same time, and suddenly we heard, “Oh my God, look at this ear!” “Look at the head!” “It’s like a 2-yr old!” (insinuating it was huge) “Do you want to know what it is?” (duh) “It’s a boy!” If you feel like there is something missing from those sounds, there was~ the CRY! I started to panic and cry myself and asked Matt why the baby wasn’t crying. Unbeknownst to me, they yank him out and run away with him. Matt yelled (well not yelled) but forcefully told the 90 medical people in the room to be quiet so I could hear him in the next room. I finally heard the beautiful noise and that was that, lights out for Katy.

Matt went with the baby to bathe him and the plan was for him to take the baby to the hall gawkers (my parents, Emily – the lone ranger, Matt’s parents and his sister Katharine who were all outside of the OR waiting to hear the first cries). In and out of consciousness I drifted. Matt brought the baby over to me to see for the first time and it was beautiful to see the adoration in Matt’s gaze at our baby but awful because I couldn’t touch him and barely see him. I told Matt he was not allowed to show anyone. In the 45 minutes or so it would take to put me back together, I decided no one got to see my baby until I did first. I was adamant Matt not to let anyone see him, in fact, I think the direct quote was, “DON’T LET ANYONE SEE HIM.” Lights out again. Matt did not oblige and showed them the baby, which was fine once I came to my senses. Can you imagine if I made them all wait? My poor mom.

I am the first to admit that newborns are not the cutest things in the world. Gooey, slimey, pink, creepy-eyed, and mouse-looking babes don't do it for me, but this little guy sure is perfect. Notice the lumpy noggin. Hello pubic bone.

Baby Daddy

The nurses quickly put the hat on and would not take it off~ attempting to spare us from his apparently unsightly hematoma (I wouldn't know though, at this point the lights were out in my world, remember?)

They had told me that the process of sewing me up would take about 45 minutes after the baby was out and there was a clock right in my line of vision. Each time I woke up, I felt like I had been out for hours when in reality it was 2 or 3 minutes. Towards the end, I started to get really anxious and panicky that I couldn’t breathe. They were quick to come regulate and observe me and although I’m sure things were normal, I was freaking out because I couldn’t take a deep breath and there was so much pressure on my lungs. They told me it was because of the way they had to press on my chest to get such a big baby out. I kept asking how much longer and they kept saying they were almost done.  Finally, after more than one angry “Hurry Ups” from the loopy lady with her stuff cut open, they put me out for good.

The next time I woke up, I was in my recovery room with a little peanut across from me. What a perfect way to wake up! I was shocked he was a boy. As I said from the get go, I had way more girl vibes than boy but really, a girl would have been just as shocking. It was genderless in my mind, just a baby. I still have suspicions that Matt knew from the ultrasound but then I remember the 5,697 times I went back and forth between things looking too girly and not girly enough and I don’t think he’d put himself through that torture, had he known. I didn’t hold the baby right away because I was shaky, faint, weak and still a little loopy from the ordeal but when I finally did hold him, it was perfect.

Hello, I'm mini-Matt

Baby Boy Core was born on Saturday, October 8^th, 2011 at 10:44a.m. At 21 inches long, he weighed 9 pounds and 7.3 ounces (yes, both Matt and I have both thought, ‘thank god that didn’t come out the other way!’). When I initially was in recovery and asked Matt what the baby weighed, he said, “9 pounds, 7.3 ounces.” I told him, “No, that’s 2 weights. How much did he weigh?” After Matt repeating the weight and me arguing that that was in fact 2 weights, he gave up on the situation and said a flat, “9 pounds.” Apparently that satisfied me. (With that rationale, good thing I didn’t hold the baby.) I always assumed our baby would be big but no medical professional ever said that. In fact, that week, my doctor guessed it was ‘big’ around 8 lbs~ wrong! Big babies=healthy babies, right? His head was 14.5 inches and they said it barely fit out the incision they made. Big brain too! (not the tattoo)

Birthday Buddies

Soooo, after about 14 hours of labor, the baby (I say baby because at this point, he was still unnamed) entered the world. After 14 hours of reading, you have reached the end of this blog post. Back at the blog with a vengeance!