December: Back to the Beginning

So, even though Emily and I thought the bet was a great idea, at the end of the day, I want it to be right for both Matt and I. Even though everyone knows where I stand on the baby subject, Matt too wants to be a Dad he is just a little less vocal (and 1 year and 8 months younger than me so his clock is a little behind). After talking about the subject quite a bit, we both decided that (EARMUFFS) we were going to stop trying NOT to have a baby. We were not trying in the sense that we were counting days, taking temperatures, or following charts.... we were just going to let nature take its course.

The monthly pass/fail test for me comes at the end of the month so right around Christmas, I started to think, "hmm... maybe??" My mom gives us each a Christmas ornament each year signifying something eventful from the year and this year, Emily and I got these little Mexican handmade fabric dolls with a little swaddled baby in a pouch on their stomachs. She laughed knowing we both wanted babies and said, "you never know!" She was right, wouldn't it be ironic if the little bun was in fact in the oven?? How clairvoyant. After Christmas, we went to Ames, IA to see Matt's family and the 3 hour drive allowed me plenty of time to annoy him by taking pregnancy quizzes.

"Did you miss your period?" I don't know yet.
"Are you moody?" Matt snickers (I'm just HUNGRY a lot!).
"Do you feel kicking in your stomach?" What med school did this rocket scientist go to??
Next Brain Buster... "Are you having contractions?"

Needless to say, these online pregnancy quizzes are no help at all. Time would tell, and it did. After an awful 24 stint of the flu...

both Matt and I, both ends, both bathrooms in renovation mode leaving 1 toilet - sorry, should I have inserted an EARMUFF?? Eventually, Aunt Flo stopped by. Thank God she was not a few hours sooner. Gross. Anyway, I was part expectant and part disappointed. I knew it could take people months to get pregnant but I started to think in extreme pessimist mode... What if I never get pregnant? What if something is wrong with me? What if I never get to be a mom?

Relax Katy, we are not trying, just not trying not to.