Mama Mia

Yesterday was my first official Mother's Day. I have to admit, I think Mother's Day and Father's Day are kind of bogus... just a reason to stress out about getting a gift, finding a good card in the picked over kiosk, making a point to visit any relevant mothers/fathers in your world, or the worst thing ever... yardwork. My parents were notorious for making us do yardwork on their respective 'holidays' since we were obligated to comply to their every whim. Thank God for Benji! Now my mom can't make me do yardwork since I'm a mom too! Just kidding, we nipped that in the bud when I graduated high school. Maybe someday I'll be rich enough to hire a gardener for their mother's/father's day gift and it will all come full circle. My poor dad, who can be tough to shop for, got a 'certificate' to pick out a new grill one Father's Day and it took him years to redeem it and actually buy the grill. Happy Father's Day '96.... in 2007!

Matt worked all weekend but took the time to wake me up to say Happy Mother's Day at 6am. (Thanks Matt, I LOVE mornings).
"Happy Mother's Day to the best Mommy in the whole wide world!"
"Thank You" (trying to be perky but irked that its 6am, head covered in blankets and morning breath in full-effect)
"Don't thank me, thank my".....

I will cut the convo off there. What a lovely husband I have (and for those who were wondering, there were no additional thank-you's from me)

My first Mother's Day started Friday with a little luncheon my mom, Benji and Tenley had for me and Emily. We got beautiful necklaces with 2 interlocking circles symbolizing mommy and baby and they are as perfect as the babes. The lunch was really sweet and although I think the 'holiday' is a bit of a crock, I do think taking the time to stop and reflect on our parents is a good thing.

My connection to mother's begins with my name. I am named Katherine because of my mom's mom.

The "original" Katherine died when my mom was 10 and left quite a big hole in my mom's heart, and a number of others. Growing up, I always felt so sad for my mom and her siblings, that they lost their mom so young. My first Mother's Day has given me a whole new outlook on it. Not only can I not imagine losing my own mom,  I cannot imagine how hard things must have been for Grandma Kay as a mommy. She died of breast cancer when she was 40 years old and left behind 4 kids, ages 17, 10, 9 and 7. In 1967, I'm sure cancer treatment was painful, drawn out and downright shitty and watching your life deteriorate, knowing what you were going to leave behind, miss out on, and never get to experience... the birthdays, holidays, weddings, your own babies' babies....had to be awful.

Mother sounds so formal to me. The beautiful woman in the picture above has always been "Grandma Kay" or "Grandma Katie" but she wasn't just a Grandma that never was, she was a mommy. Now that I am a mommy, I can see myself in her shoes a little more clearly and I definitely have a new respect for the struggle she went through, not just the physical pain, but the emotional pain watching her kids and husband watch her battle cancer. I wish she could have lived to be my Grandma.

Then there is Rockstar. My mom is a "fun person" (she told me herself in the midst of an argument when I was in highschool... "people DO like to be around me you know, my friends LIKE me. I AM A FUN PERSON.") She has always been the kind of mom who can make any day seem like a special day whether its a song she sings (or makes up), a special treat, a note, or skipping instead of walking, she really does make things fun. She has a great imagination and is creative, spontaneous, and positive. These traits have been good and bad for me throughout my life, depending on my age (which determined how much I could appreciate said traits) but as everyone says it will happen, the older I get, the more I get her. Then you mix in a Banjo.

I am so lucky that she is my mom and he is even luckier that she is his Grandma. Since the day I learned I was pregnant, anyone who knows my mom has said "I bet your mom is so excited, she will be the best Grandma." "I wish I had a Grandma like Rocky." It's true. She's a great Grandma to Benji (and Tenley) but even better, she is a great example to me as to what a Mom should be. It's pretty amazing that she could be such a great mom without much of a role model herself. She only had the first 10 years of her life with her mother (although Aunt Sue definitely played a big role too!) which is a testament to what kind of mom she had, when she had one. In 10 short years, Grandma Kay was example enough to inspire my mom's motherly instincts, and better the lives of my mom's kids, and now her grandkids.

Even though at points in my life I thought my mom was annoying, or over the top, or trying too hard, maybe she was just overcompensating for the mother she never got to have. She was mothering us through a lifetime of experiences that she would have killed to have her own mother there through. I probably shouldn't have taken her for granted so many times because not everyone is lucky enough to have a mom like her, or even a mom at all.

Grandma Kay may get glorified a bit because her life was cut short. If she was here today, I'm sure there would be plenty of things she would have done that weren't perfect but since she's not here, we get to decide what she would have been. I know she would have been just like Grandma Rock is to Benji, to me. 100% in love ~ full of smiles, giggles, special songs, special treats, imagination, creativity and LOVE. Although we were all jipped out of a lifetime with her, the 10 years my mom got with her obviously were worthwhile because look at the mom and grandma Charlie, Emily, Patrick, Me, Matt, Benji, Tenley and all the future Krebs' get. What a FUN person.

When my mom became a mommy for the 2nd time, she knew my name would be Katherine after her mom. Each of her siblings have also included the name Katherine with their daughters (Sue has Kelly, Me, Renee has Molly and Jeff has Amelie) and now, Grandma Kay is a Grandma Great with a new generation of Katherine's (Kelly has Finley and Charlie/Emily has Tenley).

Although we missed out on knowing the 'original' Katherine, we are so lucky for the family she created. We have the best moms, aunts, cousins, sisters and grandmas that anyone could ask for and we are lucky to carry on her name. Katherine, although its my name, is her name and when I think of her, I think of my Mom and how grateful I am that she is mine.

Once you're a mommy, everytime you see that little face its Mother's Day. I don't need a Sunday in May to remind me, but its nice taking a timeout to think about where we came from and how grateful I am for the people that got us here.

Improvements

You've heard it before.... bad blogger, no time, where did the month go, blah blah blah.

Save the excuses Katy.

In other news, MATT'S BACK! YAY! I have a serious new respect for single parents or anyone who lives alone with a person who has poor motor skills and cannot control their hands, feet, bowels, neck etc. I admit it, I watch 16 and Pregnant (AND Teen Mom 1 & 2 and soon to be 3) and I never thought the word 'respect' would be thrown in their direction but I do have a new found respect for the difficulty in caring for a baby alone (I'm not saying they are good at it, I am just sympathizing with the difficulty of it - and I'm a 28-yr-old employed person, with insurance, an education, a house, a supportive family and a brain).

Anyway, the anticipation of Matt's homecoming was pretty annoying. I called this phone number and a message recording would fill me in... "the window of the arrival of your airman is XXX through XXX." Thanks, let me clear my schedule for an entire week (forget the job, the baby, and the normal everyday happenings of someone trying to run a household), I'll make myself available during your 'window', Uncle Sam. I knew D-day was close though because within a week of the expected window, a bug fell on me while I was laying in bed, I found a silverfish on my bare mattress while I was washing sheets, I stuck my hand in a box to be greeted by a spider (same bathroom as the other spider incidents), and a GIANT spider, the size of my hand, survived a bleach attack outside of my garage door and made a break through a crack and INTO the garage. Oh, and Wally ripped off his pinky toenail and tracked blood all over house. Get. Matt. Home. Now.

Finally the day came and it happened to be the one day in April I could NOT pick Matt up due to a wedding. His 6pm arrival turned into Matt getting to me at 3am but whatever... he made it home, safe and SKINNY! Apparently the Middle East is a good diet. Since his return, I think we have both packed on at least 5 lbs. though. There was a lot of eating out we needed to catch up on.

Benji tried a lemon. Add that to his repertoire. Avocado, summer squash, turnips, green beans, carrots, cauliflower, banana and.... lemons. Delish. Benji has never met a num he hasn't approved of. I know its hard to believe with the genetic makeup of Matt & Me. Our little Banjo loves his high chair!

Matt has been a working machine since he got home. He had about a week off to get readjusted and decided to do some home improvement. After a much appreciated 3 month hiatus, Lowe's, Home Depot & Menards welcomed the Core's back with 42 visits within a week.

Benji tries to make the best of crappy situations (home improvement stores). He thinks Target has much better things for him to look at. He did discover the Promised Land at Lowe's though. Some people turn on the vacuum, some people go for a drive, Benji goes for a stroll in the ceiling fan department. Heaven.

Matt's return has also cost our family about $5,000,000. Aside from a new bathroom, 57 meals out, groceries for 3, hiring a lawn service, getting the garage door fixed, and 6 carwashes for Matt's precious truck (I may exaggerate a little but the car washes are the truth - and FYI, Benji HATES car washes), we also invested in Benji's new whip.

Benji got a BOB and is cleary relaxed in his smooth ride. For those who don't know, a Bob is a ridiculous stroller that is THE stroller for jogging mommies. In our case, it is obviously a jogging daddy (although my 25 minute mile was GREATLY improved over the course of my Afghany training regime). I think Matt has high hopes for this stroller inspiring me to workout with Benji (no more excuses that I can't workout since I'm watching him) but little does Matt know, this girl does NOT play outdoors beyond about June 1. I'll be bobbing loops around our main floor, dining room kitchen and hallway, in the A/C!

Benji is hilarious these days. He vigorously shakes his head no... sort of a lot. In Banjo's world, shaking your head 'no' means yes, no, mommy, pacifier, doggie, daddy, toys, give me something to chew on, i just diddled in my diaper, and leave me alone. He is very advanced. He also babbles 24/7, tries to stand on everything, wants to bounce all the time, and constantly gets onto his tummy in an attempt to scoot. He also has a weird obsession with a hand motion. Its like he is motioning "come here" by clapping his fingers to his palm... over and over and over and over. Sometimes its like hes saying "come here," sometimes its like hes waving, sometimes its like a back scratcher (when he's nursing and his little arm is wrapped around me), sometimes its a picker-upper, sometimes its a hair puller/earring ripper outer, sometimes its a mesmorizing hypnotic device, and sometimes its a lawn mower.

Raking with their hands is a sign of brain development. Google sets our minds at ease again.

What else is new in the month since I've neglected posting.... nothing on the sleeping front. I think we're improving because we are going 2 sometimes 3 hours without waking up which is big news in our world. Last night I revisited the "cry it out" BS and at 20 minutes, again, Benji barfed. I picked him up out of the puke (hair, face, shoulders and back covered) and he proceeded to projectile vomit all over me, twice, at LEAST 6 ounces, while screaming in hysterics. Horrible. Baby got bath and new bedding and I went back to putting him down my way. He was out in minutes and I would rather do that and be up in a few hours than see the pathetic face of the hysterical barf baby.

Recap...
Matt's Back: Improvement
Home: Improvement
Lawn: Improvement
Bank Account: Unimproved
Benji's Wheels: Improvement
Waist: Improved then unimproved
Sleeping habits: Unimproved
Blog post frequency: Improving?

Bunny Tales

What would a stint without Matt be without an 'incident' of this nature.... let's bring the death toll up to 4 critters. 4 for 4 without Matt around. WHY me?!?

foreshadowing

Twas night before Easter when outside the house,
my brother Patrick was grilling in place of my spouse.
"Does Walt have a toy bunny?" he asked with such care.
"No he doesn't but there are a few life-like stuffed bears."

"No I'm sure its a bunny," he adamantly said.
 I rushed out the door and I faced it with dread.
There sat big Walter, limp rabbit in mouth,
The bunny hung lifeless, his luck had run out.

When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter,
Gus had just finished relieving his bladder.
Straight on to Walter he flew like a flash
Grabbed hold of the bunny and tore it in half.

As if in slow motion, I witnessed the shred.
Both dogs, while startled, pounced right on what bled.
When what to my horror-stricken eyes should appear?
Walt's half with the head, in 1 swallow, DISAPPEARED.

A head, a skull, a brain and eyeballs,
fur and a ribcage, and 2 hoppity front paws.
More rapid than eagles he scarfed that thing down.
Then he looked over to Gus to get another round.

Not Gus! He's my baby! He can't eat a rabbit!
Walter's digusting! How the hell did he knab it?
Get into your kennel! Wait, I don't want you inside!
Gus put down your chunk for a fresh bacon bribe!

Gus was busy gnawing on the back bunny piece,
like a bloody lambchop, he had the back legs and the meat.
One end of his mouth, furry hind legs exposed,
But the other was a wad of guts, blood and gross.

I thew him some turkey, and a little dog treat.
Gus usually flies at the chance for some eats.
But the bunny drumstick that night, was more than enough,
until Walter came flying to get some more stuff.

A dog fight ensued, for a chance at the feet.
Gus walked away with his prize Walt moped in defeat.
I decided to wrangle them into their cages,
despite my fear for their intestinal rages.

Walter complied! 1 down, how merry!
I went back outside for Gus, the disobedient terri (er)
I went armed with bacon and then just like that,
Gus trotted up to me and right down he sat.

Perfect! Eat Bacon! To your kennel we go!
Enough of this gory, Easter massacre show!
I went back to the yard to retrieve the hare drumstick,
But it was NOWHERE, dont let Gus get tum-sick!

Wally's big swallow, though nasty, made sense.
He's a small horse and can wolf things~ its intense.
Gus on the otherhand is scruffy and smaller.
Hind legs and bones don't chew up... and he swaller'ed.

As if witness to the ripping wasn't enough,
my mind raced to piles of bunnies and upchuck.
I was sure I would find a whole head or a leg,
ralphed up in the kennel the following day.

Luckily for me, they've kept Peter (cottontail) down,
and luckily Benji is too young to frown.
Witnessing that right before Easter day,
could be traumatic for a kid who wants candy and eggs.

The irony of the murder of the Easter Bunny,
hours before Easter, turned out kind of funny.
Wally & Gus and a limp rabbit, what a sight!
Happy Easter to all, and to all a good bite!

As I have said a number of times before, why wouldn't this happen when Matt is gone? It seems to be my running track record. Every bug incident and road kill incident I have EVER encountered in my house have happened in Matt's absence. I guess we can look on the bright side and say, we got that out of the way, so it's time for Matt to come home!

Full Circle

Remember what started this little blog project? If "the bet" has slipped your mind over this past year of growing baby, growing belly, and growing amounts of personal information (my filter is obviously shrinking, maybe even non-existent in some posts), let this refresh your memory, Emily & Katy's Best Life Decision Yet a.k.a. 'The Bet'.

We have come full circle, folks! Tenley Katherine Krebs was born March 31, 2012 at 7:21p.m.

This is the little peanut just minutes old. I was going to make a joke about those being the fingers (Charlie's) that she would be wrapped around but I realized its her tiny fingers that people are wrapping around. Although she wasn't due until April 15th, she shocked us all 2 weeks early with the smoothest easiest delivery I had ever heard of (until Miss Harper 3 days later but I'll get there). Emily checked into the hospital just after 2pm and Tenley was here at 7:21pm. I think she and I are already in sync because when Emily started pushing around 6:30, the Grannys and I in the hall guessed times we thought she'd arrive and guess who picked 7:21 on the dot??? Me (and Tenley). Hearing her first cries through the hospital door (and in spite of the Nazi Nurse patrolling the halls) was the best sound. I tried to listen to the "he/she" proclamation but couldn't hear so we had to wait for Charlie to come out and make the announcement. Tenley is a girl.

Look at her sweet little button nose

She stayed wide awake for a few hours after being born and had the most pathetic little whimper of a cry during all of her shots and immunizations. It took a few hours for a name but Charlie and Emily decided that with her little delicate features, Tenley suited her. The 'Katherine' is a family name (not just myself, although since most of you are unaware, I should claim it!). It was my grandmother's name and a few of my cousins have a Katherine mixed in somewhere. Emily did mention though that being the 'losers' of the initial bet (the last to get pregnant), they were required to include a winner's name in the baby's name (Matthew, Robert, Katherine or Elizabeth). I told her they did NOT need to use Katherine for that reason but she assured me it was what they wanted. The more positive associations to words the better I guess, and who wouldn't want to share a Katherine with me?

 Ka-ty & T.K. - first time aunt!

Day 2, Tenley already looked like a different baby.

Precious. I can't tell who I think she looks like. She has petite little features like Emily (and long skinny arms, and claw hands) but she is exactly the size and length Charlie was when he was born, 5lbs 11oz and 19 in. (Benji's weight at probably 35 weeks gestation). Benji got to meet his BFF on Sunday and he was very intrigued. He wanted to grab her, pull her hair and squeeze her.

Ben & Ten

Ben at Ten

Seeing Benji with Tenley instantly made me feel like I do NOT have a baby. My baby is more like the giant baby in Toy Story. Even being in Em's delivery room made me sad and it felt like it had been years since I was there with Benji (even though its not even 6 months yet). I definitely will need to be doing that again. Since our first bet was such a success, maybe we should get bet #2 in the books!

Day 3, my mom and I missed Tenley so we had to go bug the new family at home. Benji tried out Tenley's crib and showed us all what 20 extra lbs. would look like on Tenley.

Ben & Ten, the best of frens

It's amazing what can change (and grow) in 6 short months! I think Tenley's waist and Benji's thigh have the same circumference~ good thing he's a boy and she's a girl, otherwise these first few month's could be a little bruising on the egos :)

Benji had another new girlfriend born this week too! Our friend Amy was due on Easter and baby girl decided she wanted out early. When I said Emily had the easiest delivery, she did.... until Tuesday night. Amy left her house at 7:47pm and had a baby around 8:45pm. Talk about cutting it close. I guess the word 'easy' is a little subjective. Amy might say otherwise because although her labor experience barely lasted 90 minutes, drugs did not fit into that time allotment. I guess I'll call it, quick, healthy, and issue-free rather than 'easy'. Harper Elizabeth is perfect (as perfect as Tenley and of course Benji) and Big Banjo can't wait to play.

We're so glad these little peanuts arrive in time for Easter that Banjo decided to spread some Easter cheer.

The real reason for the photoshoot was an attempt at a picture with the doggies but after 7 million pictures, a tub of chicken, and a bunch or carrots, only 2 frames had all 3 participants. Eat your heart out... Hoppy Easter!

Oh, Crap!

Man oh man, another couple weeks slipped by without posting. I think that every blogger's biggest struggle is keeping up with the blog. Maybe I should switch to quantity over quality since I end up writing novels every few weeks instead of novellas every week. I say I have nothing to write about but who am I kidding? Banjo changes every day and the shenanigans of being a single mom with 2 dogs and a baby have to provide some beef. Just yesterday I had Walter flip his kennel...in the bed of the truck...while I was driving, Gus puked on my bedroom floor at 1am and Benji peed on the leg of my pants first thing in the a.m. (yes, i continued to wear the pants for the day), and I came home to a shredded used tampon (that wasn't mine). Talk about action. Maybe I just need to quit over-thinking whether or not its content people care about and just keep documenting my life. If you think I'm boring, or have heard enough about my dogs, or think Benji rolling, or sneezing, or looking cute is dull, peace out.

So, with that, let's talk about poop. Benji still does not sleep and the last 2 nights he has spent more time grunting and pushing than sleeping itself. By 2am this morning, Benji had woken up at least 10 times. Kill. Me. Now. 7 of those 10 times were cries/screams mixed with intense grunting. Kid, listen. Don't force it. You pooped 3 hours ago, you don't need to do it again. Quit trying so hard and it will work itself out! Rice cereal is a culprit for constipation, says google, since its low in fiber. Lucky for Benji, I just started taking a fiber supplement as part of my new heart health regime so maybe some will pass onto him.

Speaking of things passing, Benji had a diaper that looked like it had been splashed through mud, after I washed it. Of the millions of loads of laundry I have done, I have never had this problem and he has had plenty of #2's. I was racking my brain as to why this one was different considering he eats the same things every day, breast milk and cereal. The only solution I had was that possibly all of the green food coloring I consumed on St. Patty's Day may have passed to him and into his skid-marked diaper. How irrational. Sometimes the conclusions I draw and the path that leads me there, even amaze me.

In other poos, I spent over an hour scooping poop in our backyard this week. We are neglectful dog owners. Our yard looks horrible with patches of supergrass (coincidentally in the highest poo saturated areas), holes where Gus is working on China, and tracks where Wally chases bunnies. My 60+ minutes of hard labor just scraped the surface. Literally. You can still feel the lumps under your feet in spots. However, the ridiculous blister on my hand mixed with the 3 bucketfuls of 100lbs of crap I hauled, were enough for me. The last time Matt scooped was sometime last fall and the last time I scooped was never, so let's just say Walt's 100 pounds of  beef and bowels had some rage on our lawn.

Mix in a fuzzy Gus. Aside from the yard being neglected, Matt's absence also means the dogs in general are a little neglected. I don't do nail clipping, I don't do eye boogers, and I don't wipe jowls.  Poor little Gus was a fuzzy mess and Wally's dew claws were starting to curl. I made a groomer appointment and finally the day came, only to have the appointment cancelled because the groomer got bit by a naughty client. Ugghh, I had to wait another week. During that lapse, I let Gus in from outside one day and noticed a dark spot on his fanny. NNNOOOOOO. It was a poo pancake. Smashed and smeared through his overgrown butt furs. The things I'm forced to handle..... snippity snip, I had to cut poop out of Gus's butt. Thank God he got shaved yesterday. Unfortunately it was a little too late for my scissors, nostrils and gag reflex. Oh, poo.

a rare sight captured by instagram

You'd think dogs this cute would sh*t rainbows and sunshine.

In other dog news, Walter had a panic attack last night due to a little rain. Do you think they make thundershirts in his size? What a wimp. Actually, maybe I should get a Thundershirt for Benji. The kid sleeps like a log as long as you are with 6 inches of him but wakes up every 45 seconds if he's alone. They say it feels like a hug and Benji is a snuggler. Is a thundershirt on a kid child abuse?

What really needs to happen is Walter needs to recognize that if he would quit being a chicken and go within a foot of the baby, he would have someone constantly touching him. Then, he wouldn't bug me, he'd get petted, and Benji would have a living, breathing subject there to make him sleep. If only Walter could comprehend (and fit in the crib).

Things haven't all been poopy lately. Benji is a chatterbox and it cracks me up. He gets especially chatty first thing in the morning and right before he goes to bed. The past 2 days he has been obsessed with saying "dadada" (I think he figured out his tongue or something) and its a little bittersweet. Um, excuse me? Where is the mamamamama. I'm the one who you see every day. BUT, poor Matt is missing out on all of the awesome things Benji does and I feel guilty that I get to love him in person while Matt has to witness the milestones via the internet. So, I'll give him the dadada's (but we all know Benji doesn't really know what he's saying yet).

Check it out.

I'm obsessed with him.

Since this blog is a little racy (poo is not table talk), I think this would be an appropriate place to insert the following video that sends a lovely message to all of the little Banjo's out there. As mentioned in a blog post months ago, we do own this book (thanks A&M) and I am just starting to appreciate the value of its message. Who doesn't appreciate narration by Samuel L. Jackson? Viewer beware, this video may (does) contain adult language.

Sweet dreams :)

Miles of Miles

I am starting to forget what I've blogged about already. I think that's a sign that I need to stay more current on my posts. Sorry audience. Time flying by is a good thing right now since it means one day closer to Matt being back. Unfortunately, it also means one day further away from having a baby baby. Benji is getting so big! Aagghh!

Look what he can do now...

Milestone! A couple of weeks ago, I went to pick Benji up from my mom's and she said "You may want to keep your eye on Benji tonight, I think he might roll soon." I could tell from her voice he had done it, she just was afraid to tell me because she thought I'd be sad I missed it. She finally admitted he rolled tummy to back once over each side. Go Benji! I got home, got the camera, put Benji in tummy time and waited. I caught roll #3 with our video camera and this is roll #4 from the ipad. He doesn't quite realize he can do it and when he finally rolls, the applause and cheers startle him, then he laughs, grabs his toes, and does this...

I can't believe how jumbo he's going to seem when his cousin gets here in ONE month!! He's pumped to have a little friend and he even gave his cousin a matching mobile (which is actually a trick because we all know how well Benji sleeps- staring at the beauty of the mobile just makes him want to be awake ALL night).

Benji hit another milestone about a week ago (that I was hoping we had missed all together).

My first golden shower (unless you count the one where an 8 yr old me was peed on by a 4 yr old patrick while we played in the rain). Until about a week ago, Benji had peed while Matt changed him (although Matt was holding his legs in the air so the pee went all over his own face) but never on me. Then, wam bam pee pee mam! Twice in 2 days he peed. The above episode happened late at night in the dark and I screamed out loud, so startled by the fountain. The other one happened as I changed him on the floor and the stream hit my pants with such precision that it looked like I was the one who had peed. Benji 2, Mom 4,615 (I've changed a lot of diapers). We also had our first blowout Sunday that caused concern for the onesie removal. We've had a little poop juice leak out here or there but this one was the kind that required some MacGyver action to get his clothes off without smearing peanut butter poo all over his back and hair. I won that battle 2 (too/two/#2... get it?). By the way, its shocking the scent emitted from adding something as bland as rice cereal to his diet can be- even his farts stink. Gross.

Next Milestone... 5 months! Not much of a milestone but someone's Granny seems to think this is a feat deserving of a cake (who am I kidding, isn't waking up each day cause for a cake?).

Poor Benji just had to look while I enjoyed the fruits of his growing labor. Sorry dude. Breast milk, organic rice cereal, amoxicillin (which made me cry), and grape flavored tylenol (which also makes me sad) are the only tastes for your buds.

This past weekend, we went to a baby shower for Emily with her side of the family. Most of her relatives don't know Matt and a bunch of them thought Benji looked like Charlie. I guess their options based on my family members they know are blue-eyed Caucasian-looking Charlie, or brown-eyed, dark-haired (artificially tanned at Emily's wedding) me. No one has said that before, but I guess its possible for my kids to resemble my siblings. We all know Benji is Matt's twin but I hope Emily and Charlie are blessed with a little me. Wouldn't she just be precious? Speaking of siblings and looking alike, Patrick's roommate commented this week that he and I look the same in the following pictures.

No one has ever told me that we look alike before either. We have recently discovered that Patrick looks just like a younger, beardless version of my dad but we've never had the sibling comparison. I guess its another milestone. 28 years later, Patrick resembles me and my baby resembles Charlie.... in the eye of the beholder.

Before I wrap this up, I think its important for everyone to see my latest etching. The images below are burned into a mirror that rests above the porcelain throne at Patrick's house. I'm sure you can imagine the feelings his 3 female roommates had upon seeing it.

I am the etch master.

Anyone want a permanent this on their window?

Arts N' Crafts

Last year for my birthday, I was pumped to get a Silhouette to aid in all of my crafting needs. The main reason I got the thing was to etch glass, which one of the Stitch N' Bitches taught me (S&B is a very exclusive club my mom belongs too...hey B's!). Up until a few weeks ago, the only thing I had done with my Silhouette was to cut out wall art for Benji's room.

I'm sure you all thought that was the handy work of me and an x-acto knife, but you're wrong. Anyway, here we are nearly a year later and I finally got around to etching.... and I'm obsessed.

Note to self, don't buy orange dish soap. How fun is that though?

This was just a test to see if you could etch colored glass (and to give me a reason to consume a bottle of wine). Yes, colored glass works.

C O E * R * votives, $1 each... personalized to look way more expensive than $6.

Drinking pints got fun (as if it wasn't fun before)! Glass #3 would have been useful in college when "chug chug" was my game of choice. If you forget the rules, see your glass.

All together now. I need more glass before I etch my windows.

This was a shower gift for a friend's "Monograms & Mimosas" bridal shower. Not quite a monogram but this 9x13 + a fun apron, oven mitt and recipes made a cute gift!

Who has things for me to etch? I decided my etching business will be called "Ketchy" (although it looks like Ketchup now that I type it out). But, get it? Katy's catchy, etchy... Ketchy! Yea. enough of that for one blog post.

Since this is an arts n' crafts inspired post~ let's bring it back to baby with some face in hole, made by the Rodfather.

You can be the judge of what's an art and what's a craft.

I'll tell you what is a craft... getting your baby to sleep through the night. I am admitting my first defeat as a parent. Benji will NOT sleep for any significant amount of time. A good night for us means I put him down about 8 or 8:30, he wakes up about every 30-40 minutes 3 or 4 times, about 10:30 or 11 he is out "for good" he wakes up around 2, 4, and then at 6:30 for good. I repeat, that is a GOOD night. I do not feed him each time he wakes up, I do not pick him up each time he wakes up... but he keeps waking up. The kid would sleep 8 hours in my arms if I'd let him but my neck can't take it (and who wants some mommy-issues 3 yr old?).

I have read ALL about different methods and tactics. Don't make eye contact, don't pick him up, pick him up until he stops crying, let him cry it out, feed him a ton before bed, make sure his daily schedule is consistent, don't worry about it until 6 months, he should sleep 12 hours by 4 months.... basically, the internet is full of at least one advocate for every theory you can think of. My theory? Every baby is different and mine prefers his mommy (can you blame him? Actually its any living, breathing human that will snuggle him but my pre-screening requirements nix quite a few out).

We've been doing the cereal thing so I know he's full at night, he breaks out of the swaddle and I tried to wrap his center, but no change, he's in sleep sacks... nothing. I think he wants to be on his tummy because he wedges up against the side of crib in an attempt to get over to his stomach but I'm not going there. Back is best, right?!? I decided to attempt the Super Nanny's version of ferberizing him last night and let me just tell you, it was awful. I have attempted to let him cry it out before and even got as far as 20 minutes but twice I could hear him gagging himself because he was so hysterical so I quit that. Last night was another attempt... at 20 weeks and 1 day.

I put him down, kissed him and left. There was a delayed reaction but he eventually started to cry.. sort of a fakey cry... testing me. 2 minutes and I went back in (instant stop to the crying), did not make eye contact, shushed him, patted his tummy, said goodnight and left. Wait for it, wait for it... boom. Cry for 5 minutes. Back in, pat the tummy, no eye contact, repeat goodnight and out. No delay. Instant scream. 10 minutes on the clock.... go. It subsided for a second around 8 min and I thought he may be spitting up then it came back with a vengeance. 10 minutes was up, and I walked into a nightmare. Vomit everywhere. This was no spit-up. It had the puke smell and I have never seen that much of anything come out of him, and he's had some serious diapers. His poor little head was sitting in a puddle, hair soaked, face soaked, arm soaked, pjs soaked,sheet and mattress pad soaked.... it was awful. He was sobbing, I started sobbing and I swooped him up and hugged him until he got it together. Puke in his hair, in his ear, in my hair, all over both of our clothes.... I repeat, it. was. awful.

I don't care what worked for your kid, this will not be how Benji learns to sleep. I had to wash the sheets, give him a bath, change both of our clothes and feel horrible that he could not comprehend my apology for doing that too him. And to top it off, he barfed up a day's worth of food so of course, he was hungry again. I'd rather put him to sleep my way and wake up every 2 hours than that puking nightmare. Maybe he's still too young, maybe eventually he'd learn but come on, in 3 timed attempts to "let him cry" he has make himself puke every time, with this being the most extreme. Forget it. I rock him until he's drowsy, put him into the crib (where he immediately wakes up), and stand there until he goes to sleep. This is what I signed up for, right?

Screaming Sleep Monster - looks sooo innocent

Matt is probably fearing the resentment with every word he reads. I don't resent him although I do think ferberizing may be a team sport. We will see how things go the next few months. I keep praying that after a month+ of the same routine, he will get tired enough to just fall into it (he doesn't really nap either) but so far, it hasn't happened. He definitely doesn't have my sleeping genes. I'm an 8 hours + kind of person. Matt is more like 5. Hmmm... mini-matt has another resemblance to dad.

The good news is, as tired as I am, I trudge into the nursery to find this...

Now that's my best arts n' craft work yet.