Cutting Teeth

Oh, hello. This is a blog. Blogs consist of posts. Frequent posts. Yea. Soooo... I dont even know where we left off. Benji was probably busy being a baby doing baby stuff like drooling and gooing, Gus and Walter were controlling the varmint population, and matt was busy being absent whenever spiders invaded our home. Not much has changed I guess except I don't have a baby anymore~ I have a KID. Kids are great don't get me wrong but it definitely makes me sad to think our baby days are going fast. In the past month or so, Banjo has been cruising all over the place. At first I did not encourage it like I did when he started crawling (that awkward moment when you set your immobile baby down to go pee and the next thing you know a head pops around the corner). I quickly learned that mobility would come sooner or later and the less freedom they have, the more freedom you have. Anyway, I tried not to encourage it but every day, that darn kid gets braver and braver. I would say he basically is walking (he's spanned entire rooms) his only setback is he hasn't figured out standing up without using furniture, your leg, or some other solid to get himself upright. I'll give it a week.

Other kid-like features Benji has acquired are thicker, longer hair (which I fear is becoming a mullet - still with a receding hairline) and a bunch of teeth. The hair can look really cute some days but other days he looks like W.T. with the pointy pieces that go over his ears. I tried to trim them myself once but they're back and I'm afraid he won't do so hot at the salon. Also, his big bday is coming up and no one wants that "i just got my ears lowered" look going on for that. I need him to pass out so I can trim his hair and cut his dang nails. This kid claws his face up in his sleep what seems like every other week. (Speaking of claws, he was at a pre-op consult for getting a birthmark removed from his head and the nurse asked, 'oh is that what he is getting removed?' and pointed to his forehead. Um, no. Those are scratches. He made those himself. In the same day Matt was told he had a cute little girl. Must have been the mullet.)

Anyway....as for the teeth, I knew he had a top one coming in but for a few weeks he wouldn't let me look in there. He did this funny smile making his lip cover his top gum and his tongue would block it so I had no clue what was going on.

 

Sneaky Teeth Smile

Finally I got in there and saw he had cut a BUNCH of teeth! The 2 front ones and the 2 next to them are in the the next two are on the brink of cutting. Now that he has some relief from them actually cutting through, we get smiles like this...

For those of you less familiar with babies, 'cutting teeth' is the term for teeth poking through gums. There is no actual cutting involved.

This looks like an actual cutting but its just beets. Benji decided that being a kid involved feeding himself and as a result, we have not eaten beets in a while. We like to stick with cauliflower, turnips, parsnips...(people, these are all white).

Look Mom, no hands!

He's been keeping it clean in the nutrition department and I wanted to save tasting crap (delicious crap) for his first birthday cake. Unfortunately daycare asked if he could participate in chocolate pudding art and I can't make him the freak in the group already. They said they'd give him his binky for the activity but it turns out, he has hands and can yank that out. I guess if I don't see it, it never happened, right?

Since we're on the graphic topic of cutting, FrankenBenji, as Matt so graciously named him, had surgery. He was born with a rare birthmark on his scalp that the doctor wanted to biopsy and since he was going to have to cut him anyway, he thought it best to remove the whole thing.

We went from this...

 

to this.....

 with a little of this in the middle...

The procedure was an outpatient surgery and was really not a huge deal. It was definitely scary having him put under though and I cried when they took him away. Talk about feeling helpless! The surgeon was done in about 20 minutes and within 4 hours of the ordeal, Benji was at home playing and walking around. He never even cried that day! The pathology reports showed exactly what the doctors predicted and we are good to go. "Scars are cool," says Banjo's dad with permanent dog bite marks on his cheeks.

My final cutting story is another gold star in parenting. Benji's mobility as I've mentioned is sort of pain in the rear, especially when I'm trying to get ready for work and he is all over the place. He has figured out how to open and close the shower door (which he particularly enjoys when someone is in the shower) and I usually let him have at it so I can get ready. It usually works out because the shower is directly across from the mirror so I can watch him without turning around. Well, about a week ago, Benji moved from opening and closing the door, to crawling in and out of the shower. Great right? Showers are clean (except I texted my brother a picture of Benji sitting on the shower floor and his response was that the shower floor was disgusting... coming from a 24 year-old male, that's not great). Anyway Benji is in and out, opening and closing and I'm getting a lot done when suddenly I realize he has something in his mouth. My razor. Blade end in. Brand new as of 2 days before. I cringed. The thought of my tongue and cheeks and gums getting razored was almost too much to think straight. I had to calmly approach him and pry it out without leading him to make any sudden moves. Luckily I got it out and his little mouth escaped unscathed. I however, was not so lucky as the thought of gumming and sucking on a razor is burned in my mind. Aside from the blades is the thought of little hairs. Nasty. My child has now eaten a milk bone AND a razor. What's next? small change???

That's all I have for cuts except please excuse the chunk of time I cut out blog posting. I've said it before, but I'm trying to do better. I'm going to blame it on the kid. You can't be mad at his cute little face for taking up my time!

PS- It should also be noted that Benji loves to CUT a rug. 

Cookie Monster

Benji is a smart little cookie.
He hides his binkies and then gets them back out of their hiding spot.
He knows there is a door stopper around the ottoman, to the left, down the hallway, to the right, through the dining room and right towards the garage.
He knows what puff containers look like.
He reaches out his hand and grunts towards things he wants like cords, thermometers, the formula can, a bottle of vitamins, or the knife block.
He knows when we're not looking and zips into the kitchen to the dog water bowl.
He knows that the bathtub means he's going swimming.
He thinks peaches are the greatest thing in the universe.
He likes me the best.
He screams when I leave the room.
He knows if he can't see Walter, he just needs to turn the corner and go down the hall and he'll be laying there.
He can high five.
He can clap.
He shakes his bootie to music.
He makes a machine gun noise when he laughs.
He rips his bibs off from around his neck when he's sick of wearing them (which is an issue with the ones that snap...purple baby).
He arches his back and throws his head back when he doesn't want to go in his carseat.
He not only likes to hold the remote, now he points it at the TV.
Benji-O = Boy Wonder

its exhausting being so brilliant.

Smart cookies can be naughty and nice as you can see from his laundry list of talents (and trust me the list goes on and on and on... its tough being perfect). Matt and I crack up at the things he comes up with or catches on to and we're amazed watching his little mind work (okay his giant brain~ his head is in the 99th percentile). I catch myself encouraging new things and new behaviors only to bite my tongue when it becomes habit 2 days later. For example, crawling. "Woo Hoo! Look at Benji go!" quickly morphed into "FML, I can't even pee." "Oh he's so smart, by arching his back, he knows I can't get him in his carseat!" 5 seconds later, "wow, we are throwing a tantrum like a 2 year old." Matt and I laugh all the time about the sounds he makes and what words they sound like he is repeating and I'm 100% sure that his naughty word vocabulary will be amusing for 3.7 seconds. Who am I kidding~ its always funny to hear a kid cuss, as long as we don't get ourselves kicked out of granny daycare!

Here's a snippet of one of the wonder boy's new brainiac endeavors.

"Oh look at me, I'll put everything from the table onto the floor!"

Such a good helper. Too bad this game is only useful when the crap going on the floor is edible and 2 doggies are eager and willing to pick up. Along with dropping things on the floor, Benji has also taken a liking to chucking things across the room in fits of fake tantrums. Binkies get winged.... far~ especially over the crib railing. We haven't quite caught onto the part about not being able to suck on the binkie that's across the room which really doesn't help the whole bedtime routine but I don't doubt that melon will absorb the cause and effect soon (actually, I think he knows, he just prefers to torture mom and dad until they come back to his room and get him the binkies~ who wouldn't want to see my face one more time before they fall asleep, right?)

I look at him all the time and think what a fun age he is at, but that's been the case for about 7 months now (I like newborns but I wouldn't consider their personalities 'fun'). I can't believe we're wrapping up 9 months and his lifetime has exceeded the length of the pregnancy. It seems like yesterday and so long ago all at once! Every day I wake up to a bigger, smarter, happier baby and I am so lucky to be the mom of this Banjo! I can't wait to get home each night and see his face light up and give him a giant hug and 7,000 kisses (I swear he's going to get chapped cheeks or and accidental hickey or something).

I could just eat that smart little cookie up!

Going for the Gold

And the gold medal for mommy of the year award goes to.... ME!

Benji ate a milk bone.

After all the effort I have gone through, exclusively breast-feeding for almost 8 months (still nursing – just not exclusively), buying organic and making my own baby food, Benji ate a milk bone (dog treat for those of you without a Gus). My little nugget was happily splashing around in the dogs’ water bowl (again, parenting gold medal material) and I turned away for just a second. The next thing I knew, he was chewing on something… you don’t chew water, hmmm?? I ran over and started fishing and out came some soggy, water-saturated chunk of what I thought was a dog kibble. Awesome. It was so soggy that I couldn’t get it all and Benji started making a confused ‘what the hell was that’ kind of face, while letting drool collect with the remnants and overflow from his mouth. Delish. That’s when I stepped on something, another chunk of the milk bone. Stupid Walter. Gus would have never left something edible on the floor. They say a dog’s mouth is cleaner than a human’s so let’s hope the dog treat boosted his immune system and advanced his palette. At least the milk bone is the equivalent to a dog cookie right? Nom. Nom. Nom.

Since I’ve already been awarded the gold medal in parenting, now would be a good time to post this. Not much explanation needed.

 This mom is awesome.

I know you have heard about my spider and critter issues on more than one occasion but this past month has been awful. When it rains it pours.

*Giant spider (you know those kind who nest on summer nights right on the light, or doorway, or wherever you need to walk?? The fat black ones??) between the trash can (which I was attempting to put on the curb) and the garage door. BLEACH! Oh wait, that didn’t kill it, it only made it scurry through the tiny crack into the garage. Matt, go get Benji’s whip before the spider builds his home in the bob. The next day there were like 9 dead rollie-pollies in the bleach zone.

*4^th of July weekend, I was a few adult beverages deep (so was Matt which explains why he was M.I.A. aka ‘in bed’) and I flicked on the closet light to change into my PJ’s. Spider! The pointy brown kind, in the middle of the floor, surrounded in my laundry! FML. Matt’s reaction time was below sub-par and I was forced to squish (we wouldn’t want poison getting on my clothes). Crisis averted. I got my PJ’s on and moved into the bathroom and BAM! I am not even joking! Another spider in the middle of the floor! This SOB was black and mean. Poison. Spray. Toast. There are a few issues here. Again, why is it always ME that finds these? Why was Matt 4 feet away snoring? How many more of these monsters cruise around my room without me ever finding out? This is the stuff nightmares are made of.

*Dream Nightmare. I dreamed that I was holding Benji (so vivid, he was wearing the outfit he had worn the day that I had the dream) and spiders started scurrying up his back and onto my arms. I woke up itching.

*My office. I opened a cupboard and noticed some cobwebs at the bottom. Cobwebs with spider carcasses mixed in. Oh, and a live one with a sack of eggs. Um… getting the sack could disturb the shell and cause babies to pop out. Removal was a big debacle and I almost puked. Can we get some cleaning people up in here?

*Another dream nightmare. I dreamed that a giant spider was suspended above my bed and I attempted to capture it. It fell and scurried onto the bed, onto Matt’s toes sticking out and under the covers. Again, I woke up itching. First they got Benji, now Matt!

*La Dee Dah. Look at us playing, in the middle of the floor where we always play, with toys all around us. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something… moving. SPIDER. Are you serious right now? Where does that even come from?? It was seriously surrounded. AND 2 dogs were patrolling the grounds. Only me.

I threw a stacking cup over the devil and got TP. Again, my preferred poison method wouldn’t work. a)carpet b)toys c)baby. Squish. How the heck I even spotted the thing still baffles me. It was big and camo-coated and seriously blended into the carpet. He was on his way to bite Benji and lay eggs on him, I just know it.

*Oh look at me opening my car door. SPIDER. A little jumpy thing on the handle. Of course I saw it after I used the handle to open the door. It was jumping all over, and jumping fast. In a public parking lot, I was forced to use my hand and brush it off the car. Leave that garbage at Wal-Mart. This would have never happened at Target.

*Finally, spider on the kitchen rug. I have earned my gold medal in pest control so I killed that guy with little incident.

As if ALL of those spiders in one month weren’t enough, I also found another dead animal. This time, it was a bird on the patio. We were dog-sitting Gus’ sister (for real, they have the same daddy) and all 3 dogs were outside. I was out scorching and filling up Banjo’s pool and I spotted it. Luckily none of the dogs had tried to eat it (I don’t think it was very fresh in the 500 degree heat). Of course, it was a drill weekend and Matt was gone (when else do I find dead animals?) so I put the cover to our fire pit over it and that’s where it remains (we’re going on 3 days now).

I get a gold medal in home/lawn maintenance too, obviously.

Living on the Edge

Benji is 9 months old and 1 day and I have already resorted to bribery, TV, and turning a blind eye to safety/hygiene issues Benji encounters. We had a real whopper of a day last weekend when I used all 3, within a few hours in an attempt to get my house clean.

First, bribery. Benji has discovered baby crack. Puffs. The little rice-puffed cereal star-nuggets can clench his attention and shut him up until the puffs run out. He even recognizes the container and does his happy hump gyration to celebrate. Puffs come in lots of flavors and he has been fond of all the ones he's tried. I feel a little guilty because I've tried to keep him eating clean~ all homemade fruits and veggies~ but I wanted to spice up the texture he was consuming and let him test out his 2 chompers so I bought plain old gerber puffs (I have since discovered organic ones that claim half the sugar of the regular ones.... i may be a sucker for marketing but based on Benji's taste for the things, we will go with 1/2 the sugar). I can't blame Benji for being addicted to them. They aren't half bad and considering they dissolve into nothing on your tongue, you could pop them all day and feel like you weren't even snacking (not that I am speaking from experience)!

Benji has really mastered the motor skills it takes to get food to his mouth and his 1-at-a-time process has morphed into shovels of handfuls. He prefers to shovel himself which has become a bit of an issue with his healthier veggie purees I try to spoon feed him. I have had to resort to holding up a chunk of something to his mouth and when he opens up, I sneak in the spoon of puree. Hopefully he doesn't catch on too soon!

Here is Benji fist feeding himself watermelon.

It's no wonder the kid likes watermelon, I think I ate 39 last summer when I was preggo. I craved it all the time!

My second parenting fail is TV. Benji mostly watches Bravo, Food Network and Matt's latest Netflix addiction (currently Trailer Park Boys) so you can guess by the sounds of it, he's really being exposed to some culture. He normally tunes it out and plays productively but recently he was being a pill and I needed to get our house in shape for company so I popped him in his highchair, propped up the ipad right in front of his face and turned on Yo Gabba Gabba. He. Was. Mesmorized.

How could you not be with content like this...

The one Benji watched had eggs crying to go to the party in the tummy. The cartoon eggs crying on the plate were pathetic and hilarious and the song was very catchy. These characters are just whacky (I was pleased to learn the pink blob I thought was called "foopa" is actually "foofa"). You feel like you are on a trip watching this, or as wikipedia puts it, 'someone has slipped something into your fruity pebbles.' Whatever it is, I can't complain because a)its funny and Benji loves it b)they teach sweet dance moves (also seen on The Soup) and c)Leslie Hall is a guest star.

Thank god for Netflix.

Benji's #2 favorite thing to watch on the ipad is himself

He has mastered the art of clapping and likes to stop and clap for himself whenever possible (after crawling 12 inches (go, me!), while his diaper is being changed (i did a dookie!), first thing in the morning (i just woke up and its 5:30am!), when I pick him up (i win again, mommy is a sucker!) and 50 bazillion other times over the course of a day.

He's also pretty proud of his success in finding no-no's and I have had to turn a blind eye to safety hazards and gross things in my house in order to increase my productivity. As I've mentioned before, Benji has a knack for finding gross things and inappropriate baby things and I have had to relax my germ standards to keep my sanity. Since Walter the Terrible has decided he should shed his entire coat, I have been forced to vacuum close to every other day (which is way too much in my world). The alternative to vacuuming is letting Benji crawl and then lint rolling his entire body and plucking Wally hairs out of his mouth, nose, eyelashes, etc. Fine, I'll vacuum. Did I mention Gus HATES the vacuum? That's pleasant to listen too.

Anyway, vacuuming has become a game for Benji. I vacuum and he chases the vacuum. The problem is that he catches the vacuum and likes to finger the brush extension (nasty), climb up the thing (have you ever looked at the dirt on the vacuum?) and chew on the cord (multiple issues there). Also, vacuuming the house lets Benji explore additional hazardous areas that he was previously unaware existed. Needless to say, Benji now enjoys rounding the corner and zipping down the hallway to the preferred vacuum outlet and an A/C register that is bent (making it sharper) and full of dust, lint, dead flies and grime. He also knows where the stairs are (an issue in itself) where the carpet is loose (carpet staples exposed), and where the dog kennels are (kibbles everywhere). I need a cleaning lady and a handy man. Anyway, I think I have pushed the boundaries of acceptable 'toys' or distractions that I allow Benji.

Here is another amusing yet unacceptable game...

Gus may seem vicious but he likes the baby... enough. Also note the register that Benji loves to open and close then stand on, and the window trim that I have seen little bugs on that Matt ignores and I douse with cleaner. There are also outlets within 2 feet to the right and left which Benji is on his way to, as soon as he screws with Gus for a second. Gus is not his only victim. He likes to make a beeline for Walter and when he gets to him, he'll get up on his knees and do a victory happy hump, grab a few handfuls of fur, then put Walter in his mouth. Yes, you heard me. He tries to eat Walter. Get out the lint roller.

Who wants to leave their kid for a play date at our house?? Food bribes, TV, dirt and dog hair! We're the FUN parents!

Well Wouldja Look at That

So we've moved onto 'Plan B' of sleep training which turns out, is the same thing we were doing. Benji's cry-it-out has been cut back to about 20 minutes with 2 or 3 incidents in the middle of the night. He is still protesting by collapsing face down into his mattress which I am 100% sure is a 9 month old's "F you, mom." The SIDS thing has been terrorizing me since the day he was born and he can smell the fear like a bee (or probably something stronger like a tiger~ do they smell fear?).

1. Face down in the plush thing in his crib. He really doesn't like plush toys that much (probably because I don't give him many since Gus also enjoys plush things) and he NEVER has shown interest until this cry thing. He pets the white fuzzy thing (its a sheep) while in hysterics so against my better judgement and the current safety stance on items in a crib, I left it in to soothe him...then he put his face in it.

2. Collapsing in exhaustion (sideways) with the little arm dangling through the cage (to show me he was reaching out for me) face down and drenched in sweat (I'm going to go ahead and make the educated assumption that he inherited hyper-hydrosis from Funcle Patrick).

3. Face down in the fuzz mid-stroke. At least he was self-soothing~ I told you he likes to pet this guy. Also, the quilt is strategically in the crib because he also likes to grab onto the fringe. Grancy (Grandma Nancy) made a multi-purpose quilt!

4. Once again soaked in sweat. After 2 weeks of crying, he and the sheep have obviously become very close. That orange guy is called Eebee (google it) and is in the crib to escape the pup (his purple hair is irresistible for Gus).

Day 14 (last night) the tiny glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel grew a little bit bigger. At about 8:00, Benji took his bottle and fell asleep on the last few drops. I moved him to his crib and he stayed asleep.... until 3 am!!! He has not slept that many hours since he was like 2 months old! Then he cried for about 15 minutes and was back out until 6:45. He nursed a little bit and fell back asleep! THANK YOU BANJO! THIS is something we can work with. I'm curious to see how tonight goes. I'm praying it's not a fluke but I have a strong feeling the crash had to do with late dinner, heat, swimming, sweat, fireworks, heat, staying up until 10:30, sweat, no nap, heat, barbeque, sweat, baby pool, heat fireworks.... what a weekend. Maybe 'Plan C' should be to beef up our social calendar. Apparently we aren't busy enough on an everyday basis to wear him out!

He's probably also worn out from the excessive amount of "Bu-bye's" that he has had me spitting at him lately. It's pretty amusing to see a mini-person respond appropriately to a command so I obviously have to try to get him to do tricks 5,000 times a day. Our first basic trick is the no-no. He has been shaking his head for a few months now but he recently started associating it with the word 'no' (he doesn't grasp the 'no' concept, he just knows that sound goes with the action). He hears a 'no' in casual conversation and he shakes away.

*disclaimer: I sound so annoying in these videos but I'm taking one for the team here and throwing myself under the bus for Benji

The more advanced action is the bu-bye. It started in the mirror, only waving to himself and morphed into a backwards open and close (more of a 'come here') action but its still cute. I think he's a little jacked up with whether this goes with "bu-bye" or "hi." He's also missed the boat on people coming and going because he likes to stare at the person trying to get him to perform, then wait for them to give up and turn around to do it over and over and over.

He also is distinguishing a particular 'duh' for 'Gus' which he did not comply with on camera. It's a raspier, deeper sounding 'duh' than the other 'da da da's.'

And here is a combo video of tricks. Apparently Matt will be teaching sit and roll over soon.

Obviously "yay!" with clapping is my next trick to teach. Those are going to be some SUPER annoying videos of my voice. And while we're on visuals, here are Benji's teeth. I needed to capture them before he gets too many more. 1 tooth on a baby is funny and cute.

In case you were wondering, Benji has more than 1 shirt. I need a smart phone so I can make videos more sporadically instead of trying to get my show pony to do all his tricks in one day for the camera.

To relax from all of the exhausting waving Benji has been doing, he got to go swimming for the first time! We have a little baby pool and he has been really digging the bath lately so I had a feeling he would love being in a real pool. I am so smart.

He LOVED swimming (notice all of the 'bu-byes' coming from the floatie). The kid has not learned fear (not good for mamma) and he thinks he is a dolphin. He tried to climb out of his life raft a few times so I held him and then he tried to climb out of my arms. He also had no problem getting dunked (hold the CPS phone, I didn't dunk him, but he did go all the way under). Whoever wants to invite us to the pool, we are accepting offers. Matt seems to think installing our own isn't in the budget for a sheriff's deputy so we would also gladly accept monetary donations for the "make benji's life better and feel good about yourself for bringing out the smiles pictured above by contributing to our pool" fund.

Thanks in advance for your support, he's working on the "yay's!" to thank you.

Chicken with a Banjo

My kid is perfect in 5 bazillion ways.
he's cute.
he's snuggley.
he's funny.
his gummy one-tooth grin melts your heart.
his butt is cute when he scoots around.
the rolls on his thighs are squishy.
he laughs when you motorboat his tummy.
hes ticklish.
he likes gus.
he like me.
he's a good eater.
his hair is funny.
his rubber band wrists look cute.
he loves water.
he's smart....

and he's an AWFUL sleeper. I know I know, you've heard it all before but its really starting to get old. Shouldn't 9 months of cat naps catch up to the little Banjito? It's catching up to his mommy, thats for sure. This is his baby calendar. He earned the "sleeps through the night" sticker in December.

At 2 months he slept 6 hours then another 3 or 4. Thats good enough for me for "through the night." At the time, I was such a milk machine that sleeping 6 hours was pushing it for me anyway so I thought we were good to go.

FF to June.

 We have regressed... for 6 months.

Side note - I am super mom. Benji's baby milestone calendar has been written on every single day since he was born. And if you notice, the entries are a little beefier in June than December. Confession: I am so sick of doing this. I only keep it up now because I've made it this far. It is a little easier now that he does tricks and has a little more personality to write about but I can tell you right now though, kids #2, 3, 4... will NOT have a calendar with this depth. 

First-time, over-zealous, afraid to miss a moment mommy is quickly morphing into the 10 second-rule, if you're not bleeding you're fine,  "excuse the mess, we're busy making memories" mommy.

Last week, we were going through our regular bedtime regiment and just at the part where the lids get heavy and we move to the crib, Benji popped his head up, flashed his gummy smile and started bouncing on my lap (which is sort of like a pelvic thrust but its a serious dance move in babytown). With sleep clearly not on the horizon, I decided to stick him in his crib and sit back and watch what he would do. He played for about 10 minutes, showing off that he could stand up and scoot along the perimeter of the crib, then he investigated some velcro on plush toy, popped a binky in his mouth and decided I should pick him up again. It was the moment of truth.... I went for it. Cry it out, take 5.

On a whim, I decided to attempt the cry it out thing.... AGAIN. Even though it is not listed in the 'things to do when teaching your kid a lesson' manual, I decided to sit in the chair in his room until he succumbed to sleep. If he was going to be tortured, so was I. Really, I just wanted to make sure he didn't vomit like the last 50 times, and even more importantly, I wanted to make sure the new crib mattress adjustment was secure enough that he wouldn't throw himself over the side in an attempt to conquer the dreaded sleep fairy. Torture. For both of us. It was a serious test of endurance. Who would win this game of chicken? Night #1 took 90 minutes of constant hysterics, screaming, crying, sobbing, reaching out to me sitting in the chair.... it was rough but I won. His cute little butt would plop onto the mattress and he'd whimper until a new surge of tears would come and he'd pull himself back to the edge. This happened 937 times before he got too tired to pull himself up, which made him more mad resulting in fist pumps and hair pulling. I have a neurotic 8.5 month old who tries to pull out his own hair. Add that to the trauma I'm putting him through abandoning him in his crib cage, and he's on track to be a super-functional adult. Awesome. Parenting = fail. At one point he was falling asleep sitting up but then he tipped over and fell into the side of the crib... you'd think I'd slaughtered a puppy right before his eyes.

Additional traumas documented for his future therapist:

caffeine and ice-cold cups on his face, just for the amusement of his funcle. 

*no babies were harmed in the making of these photos. No pop was consumed either.

 "I got puffs on my head, but don't call me a puff head"

Back to the C.I.O (cry-it-out). After 5,400 seconds of needles stabbing my eyeballs, screeches in my ear drums and daggers in my heart, Benji gave in (in a face-down on his mattress, 'F%*& you mom, see if i'm breathing now,' pose). I'm not kidding, he was face down in the mattress. We have an Angel Care monitor that is supposed to alert me if he quits breathing but seriously you little stinker? I think he was trying to keep me in his room with him. "We're the two best friends that anyone's ever had.."

In the middle of night #1, he woke up once for 51 minutes and once for 23 minutes. That's a pretty decent night in our world. In case you were wondering, crying in out in the silence of the middle of the night magnifies the sound by 43 million.

Since I made it through 1 night, I decided to keep it up. Night #2.... 62 minutes and another face plant. This time I left the room. I got things to do, people to see. (Not really, I just didn't know if I could stick it out without picking him up again). He woke up for 22 minutes, then at 5:30 am to eat and he was back out until 8am. Nice. Progress.

 "Oh, you want me to do this?"

Night #3, 21 minutes. I could smell the sweet victory. Google is right! Considering we had moved beyond the vomit thing, he really could cry it out and learn to sleep! Pump the breaks. Up for 19 minutes, up for 37 minutes, pathetic whimpers for about 10 minutes.... up at 5:45 to eat. Back out. Less time, more awakenings.... not sure you could call that winning.

Night #4, 40 minutes. Nights #5 & #6 about 40 minutes. Its been a whole week and things are not changing. I felt like his sleep times got longer, maybe 3 or 4 hours rather than 90 min - 2 hours but thats with screaming breaks lasting from 20 min to over an hour. I cannot leave him screaming every night 3 or 4 times a night for up to an hour. That sucks for all of us. Last night I lasted for over an hour (his 2nd awakening) and finally at 2:47, I brought him into my bed. Of course, he never woke up again. I would beat myself up for giving in BUT seriously, I tried this for SEVEN days. SEVEN!!!  Do I need to remind you how cute his little face is? Imagine that little guy begging you to console him and give him a little snuggle. At least we tried.

CIAO, C.I.O. We're moving on to plan B, whatever that is.

"Yay for Plan B!"

Moving Right Along

I haven't had a break from posting this long since I gave birth. I'm sorry to let you all down, but I have not given birth again. I just suck.

Moving right along... 1 month in people time is like a lifetime for a a Banjo. In just a month, I got a whole new baby... one that eats more, laughs, bites, doesn't shut up, and best (worst) of all, is mobile!

Hooray! My baby hit a milestone! He can crawl!
F*%&! My baby is monster! I can't just lay him down and run to pee!

All of you moms out there thinking, "Wah! My baby isn't crawling yet!", "What's wrong with my kid? He's older than benji and he doesn't crawl?", "When will MY kid do that?".... go knock on some wood fast. Praise be the babies who skip the crawling and just walk (I'm going to go ahead and assume that spares you at least a month or 2 of prevented mobility).

Don't get me wrong, yay for Banjo~ I do love watching him scoot around but my already reduced shower regime has not appreciated the development and my 'privacy' has been eliminated. I used to lay the kid down surrounded in noise makers so I could pee alone and would be alerted if there was any movement outside of Benji's circle of trust. Now, he gets plopped down in the doorway and stares at me while I go about my business. For now, the 'newness' of the scenery keeps him in place on his bum but I'm sure a face-plant to the bathroom floor and a beeline to the chemicals under the sink is inevitable. As for showers, the best solution at this point is hauling his heavy high chair up the world's longest, steepest staircase so I can strap him in place while I use up all of the hot water. Although this works, I think I've dented the drywall in a spot (or three). Oops.

Back to Benji, the crawling started quite amusingly with barrel rolls across the room in an attempt to get where he wanted to go. The rolls melded into a sort of army crawl drag (which really got the biceps jacked) and eventually he figured out his thunder thighs were much more efficient being used as an asset rather than dead weight.

 Here is a little diddy of Benji's scoot/role/drag combo (note the celebratory clappy feet).

Poor Wigs doesn't know what to think of the big (1/4 his size), scary (harmless), monster baby (that he could eat in 1 gulp). What a chicken.

Aside from having to actually supervise my kid, the next crappiest part of Benji crawling is his magnetism to naughty things. He's had this 6th sense since he started putting everything in his mouth. 'Here are 47 BPA free brightly colored, noise making, shiny, lighting up things for you! Oh what? you spot the cell phone that's inside of my purse across the room under the table? Oh the remote that the couch cushion swallowed yesterday causing me to watch Pardon the Interruption? The keys that are in the ignition, making this car move while you freak out? The hand sanitizer you threw on the floor behind the couch 3 days ago? Perfect. I'll get right on that.' Benji's favorite consumables in no particular order are.... TV remote (hit AUX as to not get your Bravo! program interrupted with a channel change), Playstation remote (which I secretly hope the drool destroys so 'sticks' can't ruin my day anymore), hand sanitizer bottle (1 particular one, which hopefully isn't a sign of a taste for alcohol), car key (which I always forget and hold in the same hand as the car-seat, which than dangles in his face and baits him. FML), iphone (matt's $1,000,000 case that can go diving with him is actually useful! Benji can suck and chuck it all day and its indestructible), and computer charger (of course, the little white part that the power comes out of and into the computer). BPA-full I'm sure.

Scoots McGee can now add more naughty's to his list. Outlets, cords, the weird kitty door that came with the house (thank god his head is huge, otherwise he might fit through the thing), the moldy piece of tile in the corner of the shower, the wine rack, bottoms of shoes, and door stoppers are on his radar and even though the kid can't even talk, he remembers exactly where all of these items are located.

All of the mobility had really paid off for him though. Ladies, control yourselves, Benji has a 'Situation'...

Check out those muscles. He can surf too.

Which leads to my next 'milestone' (issue), pulling up. This kid has noodle legs but thinks he can stand up. All of the time. On anything. The thunder is getting a little more trim and he is gaining strength but seriously, you cannot climb on top of my shoulder and stand on it, while I am standing up holding you. You cannot stand on the footrest of the stroller that is a 6 inch surface area. You cannot stand on flat ground for goodness sake with those noodle legs! Leave it to Banjo to try though. Did I mention he has ZERO concept of falling? Oh, the edge of the bed? I got that (FUNCLE). Oh over the side of my crib? Ain't no thang (Thankfully this hasn't happened... yet). We attempted Take 4 of the 'cry it out' sleep thing but now, mix in a pissed off Banjo, standing in the crib, leaning as far as he can to get out and once again, mommy loses (yep, we're still sleeping like a baby... a newborn baby that cries every 2 hours).

The only advantage to mobility is.... I'm thinking... we're 17.25 years closer to having our freedom back? haha just kidding! I'm not wishing this time away for anything. I love my little mover and shaker more today than yesterday and I already get emotional seeing him as a bigger baby each day. You can imagine the emotions when I woke up to this one morning...

Benji has facial hair! Okay, Okay it's fake~ the mustache isn't real! But he did have an armpit hair for a couple of months... one long dark strand that was really weird and really amusing at the same time. The pain in the butt milestones also come with other milestones that are the best ever, like this sound...

That little mouth has also cranked out a tooth! Benji fails to recognize it's abilities and still tries to chew on fingers but it is one cute little snaggle. It gets bigger everyday and is becoming more and more visible when he smiles. Matt and I have already noted its angle... which is of course, a little skewed so we're going to need to start putting away for orthodontics. Happy Birthday Benji! You have no idea whats going on, so you get money in the braces fund! Ha yea right. Like I could resist buying presents for my little banjito. Just last night I bought him some new PJ's. Matt told me I needed to "ease up on buying him clothes" but check out the state of his current jammers...

Crotch is open, feet are pulling, sleeves are at elbows... really comfy.

Anywho. in my month-long unintentional hiatus, Benji grew. Benji moved. Benji ate. Benji stood. Benji toothed (not teethed, there's just 1). Benji watched me pee. Benji ate BPA. Benji grew a mustache.

So there you go.